Day 10

Lizzy and I completed a 12k today.  Mine took almost two hours and hers took a little more than an hour.  Since the weather was a little snowy, we used the treadmill indoors.

Since my airpods weren’t working, I spent the two hours exercising in silence, only with my thoughts.  It gave me time to think…about this challenge, about Matthew, about his friends and all those who loved him.  It brings me to tears knowing that his family members are not the only ones who love and miss him.

Today, my mind traveled to Nichols School. We wouldn’t be doing this challenge without the support of Matthew’s friends and the community at Nichols.

When Matthew started going to school at Nichols, I was worried that it was going to be a culture shock for him.  One would think that a public school in a small town would be vastly different from a private school in a city.  Sure, there were differences. Over time, we learned that these two schools which seemed to be different had one common denominator---the people.  Matthew had some excellent teachers and dear friends at Eden, and the same was true at Nichols.  Matthew had moved from one community to another community, and although it was an adjustment at first, in the end it was the same result---he had intelligent, dedicated teachers who loved him because of his thoughtful mind, and he had dear friends who loved him because of his thoughtful self.

Those of us closest to him realize that each community played a big part in his life, and he loved both of them. We will be forever indebted for both communities molding Matthew into who he was. 

The day before Matthew died, it was the last day of the Nichols School annual giving campaign, and we later found in his gmail a confirmation that he had made a contribution to the school. Although he didn’t make a donation to Eden that night, I am sure if they had an annual giving campaign, he would have donated to that one too.  I would always tell my children that is was important to give back to the community which gave them so much.  I am glad Matt remembered.

Somewhere around mile 4, my mind wandered back to this #12 challenge. I thought of all the  pictures and videos posted from many of our dear family members and friends over these past 10 days. I saw postings from some of Matthew’s old teachers and friends from not only Eden, and Nichols, but from Middlebury College too. I also saw #12 challenges from some of Matthew’s old teammates. Some postings were from others who I don’t even know.  These images helped me get to mile 7.

In mile 7, I was struggling to finish, but I started to think about some day, some how, I will need to give a huge shout out to the organizers of this challenge.  Joe Avino, Charile Stein, Jake Zimmer, Nichols School, and the Nichols community each have put a tremendous amount of time and effort into this project. Not only have they embraced Matthew and our family, they have taken up his cause as part of their cause. We will be forever grateful.

By the end of my run/walk/plod, I thought of our dear friends from Middlebury College,  Annesha Bhattacharya and Dave Elkhatib, who have been by our sides since Day 1. They, and some of the loyal dear friends Matthew had at Middlebury, have worked tirelessly to help us with Matthew’s One Last Goal.  We would not be where we are today without their never-ending love and support.

It’s important to keep this conversation going.   We can’t lose one more life to suicide.  When Ross Szabo gave his speech, he told us about how when he was struggling, he didn’t want to die, but he wasn’t sure how to live.  With help, and patience, and hard work,  and unconditional love, Ross figured out a way to live.  And now he is living his life and helping so many others live theirs.  We have to figure out a way to help those who aren’t sure how to live. I don’t have all the answers, yet I do know that every single life is precious…and we need to try to help.

“It’s a beautiful thing to feel loved for who you are.  Sometimes that’s all people in this world need to keep them going.  So, give unconditional love a try.”

                                                                                     -Matthew Benedict

 For my physical challenge---12k jog/walk/plod—it was ugly, but I survived.

 For my donation--- Nichols School—in memory of Lou Avino. He was the epitome of a gentleman.

 For my act of kindness---still struggling in this department.  I need to get out in the community.