Day 6
I took Bauer out for a walk today. It was a short one—1.2 miles or around there. Bauer loved Matthew. And if he could cry, I know he would have cried when Matt died.
Bauer is a rescue dog and even though Lizzy and Michael are his “mom and dad”, “Uncle Matthew” was his favorite. The grandiose plan of adopting a 50 lb Siberian husky/ Labrador mix was not the most well thought out idea for two college-athlete siblings who shared a small apartment together. After a threat of eviction notice was posted on Lizzy’s and Michael’s apartment door, Bauer landed on our doorstep, just weeks after we installed beautiful shiny maple hardwood floors in our home. That’s when Bauer and Uncle Matthew became best friends.
Bauer and Matthew used to go on long walks together. Sometimes I would join them, and when I would, we would often walk in silence, surrounded by the beautiful nature of life. There were times when Matthew would not be able to hold any type of conversation, so I would try to respect that with him knowing I was always there for him. I miss those walks—I think Bauer does too.
It seems as though Bauer has been as traumatized as much as we have over the past 19 months. He spent the first few months staring out Matthew’s window waiting for him to come home. Then he latched on to me. And now, everywhere in the house I go, he goes. If I go out to the grocery store, he waits patiently for me to return, and when I come back home, Bauer is a bit nervous, yet relieved I am back. It seems like his nervous behavior has gotten worse over time.
When I was a child, I liked our family dog, but didn’t have a strong affinity toward him. As an adult, I felt dogs were more of a nuisance than anything else. Between the dog hair that gets everywhere and the annoying barks when the delivery person comes to the door, I have had a continued ambivalence toward dogs . Yet lately, Bauer has tugged at my heartstrings more and more. I find myself squeezing him and looking into those crazy eyes of his and caring about him more than I ever have before. He seems to know exactly when to come over to me so I can give him a hug-- I am finally beginning to understand why people love their pets so much. Sometimes I feel Matthew tries to speak to me through him.
For my challenge:
1. Today, I donated to the animal rescue shelter where Bauer was adopted.
2. It’s sometimes hard to do acts of kindness when I don’t go anywhere, so today I ordered some new dog play toys.
3. My “physical” challenge was walking 1.2 miles with Bauer. He is getting older, so that was like a marathon for him.